Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
