i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
