worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
two words...techno handjob
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
