We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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