Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
