weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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