i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
