It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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