did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
