I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
