Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
