your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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