the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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