there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
