We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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