you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize