sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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