my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
