Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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