their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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