I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If that was your dad, he is hot
I love having hate sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
