I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
