remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I FOUND THE LEGS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
