No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
