this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
