do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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