She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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