I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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