Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
being pregnant is like rehab
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
