I hate all girls vehemently.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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