Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
