If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
