Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
even my farts smell like vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
