Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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