I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
