All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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