Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize