Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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