Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
