i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
