You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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