just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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