even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
