the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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