that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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