margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
