Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
