So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
