I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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