And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
