How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's rum buckets o'clock
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize