Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
