Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
