i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
