no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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