So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize