What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
