tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
