apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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