we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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