Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
