Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
