I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
