check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
there is glitter all over my balls
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