drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The adults are the big ones right?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
