are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
