your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
