reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
