Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
