JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
